Smoking in my deep

....I just went out for a smoke...

I have spent the last 3 years helping and almost scolding my best friend because of her smoking...and i've commended her on trying to quit.

But i cracked...bought a small pack the other day...

This month has been insanely stressful to the point to where my period lasted two days....it never lasts two days...and i never smoke...ever~!

But there i was at 1:30 in the morning...cigarette in one hand and phone in the other with my head phones on listening to sweet nothings in my ear as my hand trembled...I'm not sure if it was the fact that this exam of mine is in two days and it pretty much determines my life of nursing...or if its the fact that i've found my ex boyfriend on a dating website....or both...

Can't really say for sure anymore...all i know is that I wish I was 18 again. I was single for a short period of time and i was happy with things. Life was almost too simple and i wanted more....but i was fine with that. I know i'll get through this blip of emotion-filled awkwardness but for now...I need to focus on this exam and stopping smoking. I really don't want to start another habit....my love for lingerie already has me breaking bank i don't have haha.

Plus, i hate the taste and the smell on my hands and clothing.

-S