It never fails

So my mom asks me what i bought for my neice for her birthday and while im telling her, she seems to be more focussed on my stomach and thighs....

It never fails. My mom has this disturbing, disgusting way of making me completely and utterly bad about my body because i'm not this slim girl i used to be when i was 15. I have a tummy and i have thighs and an ass and she makes me feel like its the worst thing in the world. As soon as i start to feel a little better about my body....she makes me feel worse. I was actually starting to think, you know what...yes i have some pudge but i can work on it and im still beautiful because someone thinks so. Yet, in a single moment....she makes me hate my body all over again.

I hate that she can do that. It makes me feel so sad inside and i doubt she even cares as her and my brother laugh and talk every day, i stay in my room  so i can gain some sanity and feel like someone actually gives a damn about me.

Middle child syndrome. No one cares about me in this house except my daddy whose not always home but when he is and we talk, i actually feel important...

Sigh...

Til the sun...

Im 2 weeks away from fun in the sun!!! i cant wait!...i am still pudgy but i dont have the push to do the cardio!! lol hopefully soon haha

Found it on an app i downloaded

This is Real love ♥ The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. It's when you have more playful moments than serious moments. It's when you can joke around,have unexpected hugs,and random kisses. It's when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile. It's when you'll rather chill inside to watch movies, eat junk food,and cuddle than go out all the time. It's when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. It's when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are. ♥

I cannot wait to have this again...

Developing news

So there's a very big possibility that i have PCOS.

I'm scared and im not all at the same time.

I wont know for sure and what im going to do for another week or 2...going for my ultrasound next friday.

Everything else is fine though! Going to Florida in a few weeks and im excited for warm weather plus its the closest thing i can get to going to warm weather since i cant get to the caribbean like i want. It works to have a friend in Florida though ahaha Especially with all this on my mind