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10/16/2011

Alone in a sea of people

So my brother and his girlfriend want to go to a club for halloween...dress up and everything. Part of me wants to go but part of me doesnt. I think its because i feel like shit. I dont feel pretty enough to be going to a club or skinny enough.

I admit, i have weight issues and they kind of just crept up on me one day. I dont really wanna do the things my friends wanna do. Like clubbing. Never was a fan of it but i went on occasion when my friends really were like "sorry your not saying no to me".

But now i just feel so antisocial. All i do is go to work and come home. I feel alone but i dont wanna feel this way. I wanna go out and do things but im not sure what i wanna do. or how i wanna do them. Its weird.

Sometimes i really feel like my weight is hindering me. Or that im just overthinking it. I think i am overthinking it. I am overthinking it.

Alone in a sea of people. Becoming one with my thoughts.