Hello, Goodbye

Hey there anyone in the outside world...

I know i've been gone for a while. I have been actually doing things haha as opposed to be my random antisocial self. I've continued to write down my thoughts...however just not in this venue anymore. I have begun to internalize my thoughts again and yet still get them out.

So witht hat being said, i'm not going to write here anymore. If there was someone who actually came and read my stuff on a regular basis...i'm sorry that you don't have that anymore lol It was fun i guess...letting others read my thoughts...

Thanks for the views? lol Sorry i don't really know how to make goodbyes easy because frankly they never are for me. I've had too many experiences where i've said bye and it meant forever when i thought it was only until the next day. Sigh. Its been fun and i'll see you on the flip side:)

-S

Sexting

So when did girls suddenly think that dicks were cute to have in your inbox? lol

Ok so sidebar, i'm currently in Florida...(HYFR) got some time off so i decided to go and see the guy im dating and get some personal time because a bitch is tired as fuck lol....

So far so good...he's noticed little things that i haven't thought about and we have been all over each other. It helps me remember why the fuck i'm doing this long distance thing because sometimes i forget when i'm sitting home feeling lonely.

With respect to the title of this post, no we do not sext....we use skype. I hate sexting for the most part becuase i feel so damn awkward doing it. Plus i sometimes come off hella rude and slightly synical haha. Luckily i have a few friends who i can sext with and actually can come off successful. For instance, i was talking to a friend of mine and we turned sex into a construction site and how my plumbing needed to be taken care off and well...he knew a guy who could replace my tubes and make them run super smoothly...meaning he could fuck me sideways and make me breathless (which he did and then some....which is surprising since we hadn't fucked in years lol)

But yea...just my two thoughts.

Btw, sorry about the lack of posts. I have been busy and just super tired. Plus nothing out of the ordinary has happened so i figured it wasn't necessary to share.

-S

I feel good

I feel good about life right now...

All i need now is to travel haha

-S

I wish i had more material to write but i don't. Sorry kiddies

It's been a couple days...

I'm sorry. I've been trying to just live life and work and be happy...and as a result i haven't really done anything worthy of posting about.

I am planning a trip away sometime soon however everyone i've asked to go away somewhere with either dont have the funds or they are unable to because of scheduling. So i dunno what i'm gonna do haha. We shall see. I think at this point, i may just go away by myself. But my friends says thats dangerous so we shall see haha.

Anyhow, if something exciting happens, i will let you know!

Love.Live.Life :)

-S

I just feel good...

I don't know why nor am i gonna try to explain it because it will make my head hurt haha

I enjoy feeling great about myself...its been a long rode coming. And life...well life is back on track emotionally at least because the butthole that i'm dating actually acknowledged a truth i had told him about years ago....

Sigh...men are strange.


Love live life hunnies!

-S

I almost broke a wall

I got broken off so good....

Felt like i was gonna break off that damn wall it was that good. Damn...

I love my life..

I would divulge the full information but i'm sworn to secrecy :) But i will say that i haven't mentioned this boy before but it definitely won't be the last time i mention him....as so he says....

My legs are done...my arms are done....my ting is well sore....and i'm in bliss.

Goodnight ya'll!

-S

Guys are something different lol

So i forgot to mention this....more or less because i spent a good chunk of this day sleeping from a night shift but i wanted to just get my opinion out of my head and onto something real i guess you can say...

Anyway, a friend of mine just found out some interesting news about her boyfriend and its safe to say that the man isn't who he claimed to be. Now i've been in a situation where i found out things little by little, or in a " hey let me slap you with some fucked up info' type of way so i know where she is coming from. I'm not gonna say guys are dogs because they aren't. Guys do fucked up shit just as girls do, but my thing about it is just be honest about it. If you can man up and fuck someone else....man up and tell your girl. Why you gonna turn pussy and hide the information when you didn't give a damn when you were fucking some next lady(...or man...no judgement)?

It confuses me. Just be honest. If your not happy, say something and walk away or try and change it. Don't be a pussy lol it isn't a good look and it just prolongs the inevitable. Plus, it fucks up a person's ability to trust you and believe you me, if they are anything like me...once you lose my trust...your fucked haha.

-S

p.s.....for those who may wonder what happened to my friend...she isn't gonna bother mention it to her boyfriend because to her it isn't serious enough to. I woulda cut a man's ting off then told him to pull a michael jackson and beat it... but she's on some next shit when it comes to relationships that i can' t mess with lol

Weekends mean nothing to me anymore...

They really mean absolutely nothing to me...

To you, friday is your weekend beginning...for me..at least this week...its gonna be thursday morning when i finish my last night shift. TGIT bitches! haha

Anyway, i'm tired as fuck but i get the night off today so its all about the deep conditioning of my hair and trying to deal with my fro...

Other than that, mi deh ya. 

-S

PS...Thinking of going to florida again in july...new york in june..camping/white water rafting in june...and somewhere tropical in august so this summer better be good haha

Laziness becomes me

It's 1240 in the afternoon....i should be getting ready for work slowly...or at least taking a shower. But no lol I'm sitting here watching youtube and staring at a bottle of Nair, realizing that the patchiness on my legs need to go.


But do i move? Nope! Have been in this position for the last 2 hours haha...Laziness becomes me. It is my friend until i need this friend to step aside so i can become more productive.

Someone help me be more productive haha...

On the bright side, i'm home alone so yaaaay for summer weather nakedness! There's no reason for clothing right now :) *throws shorts onto bed and frolicks around the room*

-S

Back in the Dot

So i'm back in the dot and i'm...well...i dunno haha

It's not like im coming back to something great and exciting. I'm coming back for work and the comforts of my bed when needed haha In any case, i got home late and talked with my sister and mom before i went to bed.

Today had me feeling a little bummy....meaning i wasn't feeling the cutest but that's a normal thing as friend, aunt flow makes her appearance next week. I go through wanting to stuff everything into my face...and yes i do mean everything as unfortunately for me, i become insanely and some days, inconsolable sexually haha....

That sounds funny reading it back to myself haha...

Anyway, to sum it up, i stuff my face and get off about 3 times a day haha....Can you imagine if i was dating someone in Canada? Jeez. It was bad when i was dating someone...because he matched me sexually which was quite satisfying but other factors lead to the demise of that relationship.

In any case, S is hoooooooongry haha

-S

Glutton for punishment

I'm convinced now that i'm a glutton for punishment lol

I like seeing things and doing things that will somehow either erk at my soul or cause a reaction...

Why do you say this? Because i saw a photo of my ex....with his new girlfriend and at first i giggled...then i said she wasn't cute lol...Of course this isn't the case, however it is my reflex. I'm glad because at least he looks happy but at the same time...its just weird i guess. I expected it but you never realize what you expect until its there staring back at you...

So although my heart twinged a little....i'm happy that he's happy. Thats all i need to know if i end up knowing nothing else...he's happy.

-S

Another morning at MCD's

So i'm leaving montreal today...and of course my first meal of the day has to be mcdonalds because well....it makes me feel happy inside and frankly, allows me to sleep quite well on the train back home. My train boards at 1425 so its safe to say i have QUITE some time before i even have to be in the region of the gate, let alone at the gate itself....

So i figured, let me leech off of MCD's wifi and check on my daily doings...

This trip has been fun. I got to spend time with my friend and i feel grown up if im allowed to say so. I always wanted to go to another place to chill and visit friends and explore to my extent and just be myself. I want to travel more hopefully this year but first i need to stop spending so much damn money haha

In the meantime, its back to reality for me where i get to bedpan people who are unable to walk to the bathroom and watch those with anaethesia-induced delusions live out their nights...

Fun times all around!

-S

oh! to update my update entry...i got my computer while i was in the states in march...i am currently debt free (i have about 700 dollars on my visa because they upped my limit and frankly, i wanted a new phone and to buy some other stuff so ummm...yea that will get paid off shortly), i scrapped the car idea and i'm just going for my licensing, and im gonna go to new york in the summer with my sister and possibly jamaica for my birthday this year...who wants to come along?!

Getting into that music groove...

Hey all...

So i was on my youtube grind and watching any and all that interested me and i happened upon a video that has this song in it..There aren't many lyrics but something about the beat behind it is almost trance inducing...

The song is called fallinlove by Esta. I love it and have listened to the song about 4 times now, including two times in the video. Yes...its that bad lol

Anyway, the album its from is called Gradient so if your in the mood for something chill tonight...take it in. Its a free download from the link below...you can just get the album or donate money. Please donate..it supports the artists just trying to get their voices out to the masses...

http://soulection.bandcamp.com/album/gradient

Love. Live. Life
-S

Couples who are lovey dovey

Couples...P.D.A

Its cute to a point but not with my friend and her boyfriend...

They are almost inspirational because they remind me that true love can actually exist.

That is all

-S

Happy Mother's day!

Happy Mother's day to all the women out there who have children or are mothers in their own light. I respect and appreciate all of you for the sacrifices and joys that you bring to the world...

Now with that being said, i've been put in a precarious position of having to inform/remind my nephew that he should probably bestow that same courtesy and respect to his own mother....mind you it was at the request of my own mother. Even when i'm out of the province, i'm still beckoned to get in the middle of people's affairs....it makes me a little sad.

Anyway, to say they have a tumultuous relationship is an understatement but i think there is effort being made on both behalfs to try and at least make things right. However today he hasn't said anything to my sister and as a result, she isn't in the best of spirits. Which has prompted my mother to call and ask whats going on. Now, i'm not sure if ive mentioned this before or not but getting in the middle of people's issues, although hepful for them, isn't good for my psyche as i tend to overanalyze and then overthink and take their issues onto myself. Now be that as it may, i refuse to take on any more emtional shit until i necessarily have to...and because of this stance, i almost got into a fight with my own mother (she got her own announcement of my affection on facebook earlier today).

When i messaged him, he said he had broken his phone and as a result, lost her number too. I believe him to a point, but at the same time, i cannot blame the kid. He is trying...

Anyway, just wanted to share that fun fact of the day...

-S

BTW....my horniness factor has been on the rise in recent days as a result of a certain guy i wanna fuck so badly..hopefully either this amazing fuck sessions happens soon or i really need to get a new vibrator...i'm about to break mine haha. Love. Live. Life kiddies!

All she had was a dream...

I woke up with a smile.

It was another wet dream...

Another one of those backbreaking, cum squirting, tired the fuck out type of sessions.

I haven't had one of those in quite some time...dreams that is although it hasn't happened in reality for a longer period of time. I guess its a personal choice although it isn't like i haven't been offered. I have only succumbed to one person and i'm fairly certain i will continue to buckle under the idea of him on top of me until i get married. I guess because i have this sick fantasy that the "freak" inside my heart will somehow subside and float away with my vows being said.

Anyhow, this dream involved that person. It was an alternate ending to the last encounter we had. Possibly a precursor to what the future may have instore.

I won't reveal this one...a girl has to keep some mystery about her :)

-S

Life is but a dream....

Hey there!

It's been quite some time hasn't it...

Well i'm gonna try and sum up these last couple months since my last trip around this block...

Work wise...its going great! i'm working in a hospital on a great floor with awesome women and men and they are making it quite fun and informative to work there. I actually enjoy my time there and don't actually dread going to work like i used to. Its sort of interesting when i look back on some of my days of chaos.

Relationship wise, i'm still dating this guy who lives quite a ways from me. He is still him, and i visited him in february and am currently visiting him now. He makes me smile larger than i have in quite some time...he also makes me feel secure and just myself. I think it helps that i really worked on myself before i started dating him. I'm secure with my body and my mind and my soul....I have a relationship with God and he does too so sex is something that doesn't even happen. I'm sort of glad that that is the case becuase we don't focus on it and it isn't something that impacts our relationship...at least not yet. Right now i'm enjoying the time we spend togeher though so i don't bother me none haha...I do admit though...i really miss sex and the closeness that occurs during it. I miss the intimacy in that sense, especially because i've had to relearn intimacy in a different way, and with my background of sex, it was a shock to the system that he actually adapted to really well. I'm jsut glad that he accepts me for my flaws and has made such strides in my life. I'm excited to see what the future might have for us...

Home/family wise...my sister is going through some stuff and as a result, is moving back in, which is funny because my brother is moving out the same weekend. Its gonna be a transition in my household that i'm looking forward to actually. Its nice seeing poeple i know transition because it allows me to see them change, whether it be for he worse or the better. It also shows me a different perspective of dealing with certain situations that i can then apply later right? In any case, i'm excited.

What else is going on? Oh! I'm planning to travel more, such as jamaica and new york in the summer...and possibly st vincent or the dominican in the winter...so i'm super excited about it. Other than that, nothing else is going on i don't think....If something comes up, i'll let you know haha..

Thanks for reading...whoever reads haha

-S