You're everywhere

We got into a fight last night...it wasn't fun and i wanted to punch things.

I'm now at a point where if he wants to see it, it is up to him to decide how that will happen. I'm tired of always being the one in the relationship to push seeing someone and being there and with someone. I don't want to be the one to keep trying and trying to see him and all i get is "I don't know what will happen between now and then. Wait and i will let you know if its okay". Its december and its already would cost me 800 dollars buying it now...what do you think will happen in 3 weeks when you finally decide its ok for me to be with you for your birthday and christmas while your alone in your apt becuase you can't go home?

Boys are dumb and have issues. You don't see when someone is trying to be there for you and instead, you rather try and keep things on your terms and under your control that your willing to let a good experience walk by you.

Sigh.

And through all this, im listening to Michelle Branch "Everywhere" and he is all i can think about...

I am starting to hate this whole love thing and my incessant ability to fall so damn hard in love that i feel like i can't come up to breathe when i should....

-S

p.s. I'm sorry for sounding slightly pathetic over a boy...its making me nauseous as i write.