It never fails

So my mom asks me what i bought for my neice for her birthday and while im telling her, she seems to be more focussed on my stomach and thighs....

It never fails. My mom has this disturbing, disgusting way of making me completely and utterly bad about my body because i'm not this slim girl i used to be when i was 15. I have a tummy and i have thighs and an ass and she makes me feel like its the worst thing in the world. As soon as i start to feel a little better about my body....she makes me feel worse. I was actually starting to think, you know what...yes i have some pudge but i can work on it and im still beautiful because someone thinks so. Yet, in a single moment....she makes me hate my body all over again.

I hate that she can do that. It makes me feel so sad inside and i doubt she even cares as her and my brother laugh and talk every day, i stay in my room  so i can gain some sanity and feel like someone actually gives a damn about me.

Middle child syndrome. No one cares about me in this house except my daddy whose not always home but when he is and we talk, i actually feel important...

Sigh...