last night was fun!

a lot of fun....but i couldn't help but feel like the ugly friend....

ok not so harsh...the not as pretty as the other two friends..friend
Normally i don't feel this way when i'm on my own...i just tend to feel not always at my best but last night...i dunno.

I guess what might have done it, is that my bestie and her friend were getting so much attention from these guys and i'm not really sure if it was because they knew the guys, or if it was something else...

Unfortunately for me, whenever i'm with my bestie, i tend to feel like the not so attractive one. She's gorgeous and i'm not jealous of that...but sometimes i feel fat, or i feel just not attractive, whether it be with my curly hair, or my not so flat stomach...or my legs that i refuse to show because they have cellulite on them and i just don't feel all that comfortable.

But ya, i digress....i think it just stems back to the fact that i still have this element of shyness to me that i can't seem to shake...that and i feel like i don't have the confidence to just walk up to a guy i think is cute,and say just that...you're cute!

It also makes me wonder what it is about me that guys don't come up to me and say i'm pretty...but at the same time...its like why the fuck should i even care right?

I guess i'm not as comfortable in my own skin as i thought....


I have a month to change that hahaha...because Florida is not forgiving...or so i hear and i want to look and feel good when i go:)

-S