I feel like J Woww

I feel like j woww to a ronnie...except we are both girls...

But i know the situation....

I was in it 4 years ago...

the constant back and forth...the unofficial break up that never actually happened...the raw feelings...the feelings i tried to bury 4 years ago...

they had to resurface...

I hate knowing how she feels because i know as much as i wanted to console her, i couldn't...because no one could console me.

I had to get rid of it myself. I had to stop thinking that whatever it is we had, wouldn't work and i would just need to move on. I needed to know that as much as i loved being in his arms...feeling his kisses...looking into his eyes...that it just wouldn't work. But i kept being pulled back into the cycle...his cycle. I allowed myself to get pulled back in. Until he stopped it with another girl...and i was broken...

It took a year...i buried it and went on with my life...then i met an amazing man that i'm still lovingly with who wouldn't do that to me....but my bestie is now going through it with a guy who doesn't deserve her.

He's pulling her into a cycle that she doesn't deserve to be in because shes been in it so many times before....but she allowed it. I was giving advice and then the buried came alive and i broke. I hate doing that.

But thats what happened. And even now, my heart still breaks for her because either way i know shes going to be feeling pain and i hate knowing that. I hate knowing anyone who is close to me, is being hurt by someone.

Hence why i feel like j woww....if you don't know the reference...watch jersey shore. She went through it...and is telling ronnie that she went through it and it isn't his fault.

Sigh....im so emotionally done right now...and it isn't even my situation!
But just reliving those feelings....

-S